Strangest gigs

[GMB]

Funeral in a blizzard with a 6-piece brass ensemble. The tubist didn't stand a chance, next with frozen valves were the baritone and then the second trumpet. My slide froze near the coda of the march but I'd stopped playing from the 8th measure because I was trying so hard not to laugh.

I didn't play this one but I once booked a string quartet for a BDSM festival a former classmate was helping organize.

[harrisonreed]

Funeral in a blizzard with a 6-piece brass ensemble. The tubist didn't stand a chance, next with frozen valves were the baritone and then the second trumpet. My slide froze near the coda of the march but I'd stopped playing from the 8th measure because I was trying so hard not to laugh.

I didn't play this one but I once booked a string quartet for a BDSM festival a former classmate was helping organize.

That sounds strangely fitting for a funeral.

[Tromboned]

My college marching band has an alumni group that plays pep band type events through out the year to raise scholarship money for the current students. Naturally we are the busiest in the fall during football season. We typically play weddings,birthdays, graduations, business events and pep rally's for organizations associated with the university when the regular band can't make it. While weddings are common, we were invited to play at a bachelorette party. Twenty band members showed up at a private residence where we gathered in the front dining room. We then paraded to the back of the home much to the surprise of the group of young ladies. We played for about 30 min and then let them continue on with their evening.

[Vegastokc]

...we were invited to play at a bachelorette party. Twenty band members showed up at a private residence where we gathered in the front dining room. We then paraded to the back of the home much to the surprise of the group of young ladies. We played for about 30 min and then let them continue on with their evening.

Sounds like the bride's father has some nice disposable booster income.
Also, I think the young ladies' surprise might have been due to them expecting some other type of entertainment to march in.

[harrisonreed]

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Just had one tonight! After the first minute, each section was at least a quarter tone apart with a center around A415. Then the saxes froze and stopped working. It was awesome, and really fun, actually! You can see that, even near the beginning of the set our trumpet players had about two inches of snow that had fallen on their hats!

The tourists who only knew about canned music and canned performances looked confused, but the people who had worked out that we were having minor technical hurdles stuck it out with us!

[Ted]

Awesome shot!

[Gary]

As just the opposite, I played a gig in Palm Springs in the summer and it was literally 110 degrees in the shade. To boot, it was in a Wanger portable stage trailer. Somebody's idea of a good idea. There was no ventilation. The first piece wasn't even finished, when most of the band members' shirts were soaked through. Gad, it was bad.

[KingOfDreamland]

As just the opposite, I played a gig in Palm Springs in the summer and it was literally 110 degrees in the shade. To boot, it was in a Wanger portable stage trailer. Somebody's idea of a good idea. There was no ventilation. The first piece wasn't even finished, when most of the band members' shirts were soaked through. Gad, it was bad.

Between extreme heat and extreme cold, I'm not sure which is worse, but I've been through both. When I was in high school, we got to take a trip to Orlando to march in the Magic Kingdom parade. This was in early June. We have some relatively hot summers in Nebraska, but definitely not Florida hot. The day we marched in the parade it was well over 100 degrees with typical Florida humidity, and I don't know how long the Magic Kingdom parade route is, but that day it felt like we were marching the Boston Marathon route. It also didn't help that our uniforms were mostly black. There was another band from another town in Nebraska right behind us, and they had at least one member pass out right in the middle of the parade. When we finished the parade, they had a huge table filled with cups of water, probably big enough for a hundred-piece band, and we had 40 kids. We finished off the water immediately.

On Christmas Eve a couple years ago, I was doing some busking (does that still count as a gig? ) with our small low brass ensemble in downtown Omaha. The daytime temps weren't bad, so I'd been wearing a hooded sweatshirt and relying on the fact that I'm fat to keep me warm. Well, our luck playing downtown in Omaha was always that no matter how warm it was and how calm the wind was, it'd always drop about 20 degrees and the wind would pick up about 15 MPH as soon as we set up to play. That was the case that night. From the time when we unloaded the instruments from our cars to the time when we put them together, the mouthpieces had gotten to the point where they were too cold to play. Luckily we didn't have any frozen instruments to deal with, but by the time we got done all our faces were about as red as the Nebraska script across the front of the hoodie I wore that night. Probably not nearly as cold as some of the other gigs mentioned above, but definitely as cold as I'd ever want to deal with while playing a gig.

[dukesboneman]

Well, where do I start,
We played a gig for the Canadian Republican party in Ontario, Canada. We were a classic R&B/Soul band and we played opposite Hew haw news man - Gordy Tapp in a huge Airplane hanger. Thousands were expected/150 showed up.
Same Band - we played at a Holiday Inn quite a bit 1) one time the club was packed with people at a "Adult Friend
Finder/Swinger" Meet & greet. They all had name tags with their name and what they were in to.
2) as we were setting up one night we noticed that the club was packed with women. A women`s bowling
tournament was staying at the hotel. They couldn`t keep their tops on.
3)Playing with a German Band at the Milwaukee October Fest . We had about 4 thousand people watching the band.
There is nothing as weird as watching around 1,000 people doing the chicken dance
4) Playing a Dixieland gig at an Apple Festival. "Home of the World`s largest Apple Pie" It was HUGE. Someone had
the bright idea as to set the Band up almost next to the big pie. Nice idea on paper but.. We had a real hard time
taking a breath because every BEE in a 5 county area was hanging around the pie.
5) Got hired to back an Elvis Impersonator. Big event - Cocktail hour/Dinner/silent auction/ speeches - then Elvis.
Well by the time we got around to playing , people were getting tired and leaving. Elvis was pissed off that they
were leaving so he starts yelling at them and chasing after them to get them to stay. Awkward!
And the list goes on & on & on

[Bonearzt]

Played a biker picnic an got flashed by several "curvey" women....played a polka band on Thanksgiving on a balcony overlooking the parade route, played TOWARDS the bands that didn't play as they went by, LOTS of good food & drink PLUS pay on that gig!!!
Did a recording session that paid in $5 bills, they emphasized that we shouldn't ask questions about the pay....

Interesting reads here!!

Eric

[Kingfan]

In high school, marched halftime on a new and wet football field. There was so much sticky mud everybody lost at least one shoe. The game couldn't start the second half until all those shoes had been found and taken off (or should I say, out of) the field.

[JBone]

A few come immediately to mind, though nowhere near the level of some of the ones described here:
Playing a wedding and the couple getting hitched requested "Heard It Through The Grapevine" of all things. Instrumental version, so no lyrics to be worried about, but still a bit odd.

Another wedding gig, the local sportsball team was in the national playoffs. So, they roll a television into the corner of the room for people to watch the game while the band's playing, with the guests cranking the volume on the TV and glaring at the band, since the people holding the pursestrings hadn't told the band to stop playing.

Then of course there's the parade gig for some manner of Italian religious holiday at 11AM in 85+ degree weather in late June every year, in suits and shirts mind. Thankfully a pretty short walk, but between the sweating, the reasonably difficult music (italian marches), and the metal you were rubbing on your face, it failed to be the most comfortable gig I've ever played (and the pay was almost enough to get your shirt dry-cleaned afterward).

Easter Brass Quintet gig accompanying a choir. The organist swapped from organ to piano for the second to last song, which would be fine...... but the piano and organ were tuned about 20 cents apart from one another leading to frantic instrument adjustments for that song, and then again when she switched back.

[SwissTbone]

Playing solos with organ at a wedding in the church. Met the organist 5 minutes before downtime, so no rehearsal. That wouldn't have been a problem. But the the organist told me he just play tested the organ and he wouldn't be able to play any songs with a C or a Bb in it because those notes sounded awful.

So basically we played 6 songs each of us two never played. Tried to play them together while 300 people (and a lot of trombonists) where listening.

I survived it.

[cmcslide]

A few come immediately to mind, though nowhere near the level of some of the ones described here:
Playing a wedding and the couple getting hitched requested "Heard It Through The Grapevine" of all things. Instrumental version, so no lyrics to be worried about, but still a bit odd.

Played a wedding with a dixieland band where the leader wanted to start the gig with "Who's Sorry Now!" We asked him if he was sure that he wanted to start with that one and he goes, "Why not? It's a great tune!"

[deanmccarty]

This was strange AND gross... I got called for a variety band gig for a private club out in the sticks... all was normal until about 11:00... they locked the doors and someone got on a mic and said “It is time...”. Then... they all went at it... it was a swingers club, and we were on until 1:00... while all of that was going on...

[Mikebmiller]

This was strange AND gross... I got called for a variety band gig for a private club out in the sticks... all was normal until about 11:00... they locked the doors and someone got on a mic and said “It is time...”. Then... they all went at it... it was a swingers club, and we were on until 1:00... while all of that was going on...

Like they said on Seinfeld, there’s good naked and bad naked. Sounds like some bad naked,

[deanmccarty]

Sounds like some bad naked,

It’s etched into my mind forever...

[Mikebmiller]

I think I would have been outa there pretty quick.

[whitbey]

This was strange AND gross... I got called for a variety band gig for a private club out in the sticks... all was normal until about 11:00... they locked the doors and someone got on a mic and said “It is time...”. Then... they all went at it... it was a swingers club, and we were on until 1:00... while all of that was going on...

What is funny is when you see your kids teacher or someone you know at an event like this.

[MagnumH]

NOLA-style brass bands get into a lot of weird places (often transport related) but three particular gigs stand out.

Most recently, my band played the Record Store Crawl in Rochester, NY. The majority of the gig had us crammed into a school bus with the attendees, the sousaphone scraping the roof of the bus, drummer playing snare on his lap, etc.

A few years back, a different brass band played a "safari" in the Scottish highlands. One of the spots was on a vintage train, at the back of the cart, playing horns out the windows while the whole cart went nuts.

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The one that stands out the most is disturbingly similar to deanmccarty's.
A different brass band again, at a private party, in a quiet cul-de-sac in rural Scotland, with maybe 50 very scantily clad ladies, and maybe 5 fuller-clad gents. Lovely party, lots of food and drink. But also a 2 foot long double ended youknowwhat sitting next to the breadknife. We played a 1hr set, and about half way through, the few clothing items remaining on the partygoers were shorn, and it became a full on XXX party affair.
We finished up our full set, and they actually really dug the music as well. Then we huddled together, said our goodbyes, and drove away, innocence forever lost. We also left a sax player behind.

[StevenC]

So I just remembered the time we got hired to "crash" a wedding reception. (I guess it was cheaper than hiring a band for the full time.) We stormed into the room at some predetermined time, and started playing "Love Shack". When we left, half the wedding party followed us, so we had to keep playing through town.

[rmb796]

I played a big band gig at a 4H fair once. We shared a tent with a group of farmers that were shearing sheep.
The temperature was about 100 and the flies were so thick I couldn't hardly distinguish the notes from the flies.
On top of all that , I was fighting the flu..., between the noise of the people, the Baaah of the sheep , sound of the clippers, and the heat, I barely made it through the gig. I still remember this one even though it was 40 years ago!!

Another time a lady was dancing and her partner let go of her arm when he swung her around and she fell into the first row of sax players knocking everything down.

Was playing a New Years eve gig with a rock band and everyone in the place got so drunk they sent us home BEFORE Midnight !

[Geordie]

Brass band, booked to parade through a housing area in West end of Newcastle upon Tyne. Arrive to find all housing in the area demolished but pavements/sidewalks and roads intact. To be sure of payment we did the March and playing. Think traditionally uniformed British brass band marching through a deserted 28 Days Later or post bombing film set and you get the idea.

[JohnL]

Brass band, booked to parade through a housing area in West end of Newcastle upon Tyne. Arrive to find all housing in the area demolished but pavements/sidewalks and roads intact. To be sure of payment we did the March and playing. Think traditionally uniformed British brass band marching through a deserted 28 Days Later or post bombing film set and you get the idea.

Were you marching between rubble piles or had it already been hauled away?

[Geordie]

Were you marching between rubble piles or had it already been hauled away?

It varied along the route, piles in some places, flat in others. The roads were clear. We were the only people I recall seeing.

[JohnL]

It varied along the route, piles in some places, flat in others. The roads were clear. We were the only people I recall seeing.

Sounds quite post-apocalyptic.

[brumpone]

Scotswood or Elswick? Either way, it was certainly more apocalyptic before it was flattened!

[Geordie]

Scotswood or Elswick? Either way, it was certainly more apocalyptic before it was flattened!

Elswick and, yes, you are right.