King "coffin" cases
Posted: Tue Oct 29, 2024 7:36 pm
I was buying a proper professional trombone recently, really exciting moment after days and days of testing and researching and note writing. At the brass shop, making payment for it: out of the corner of my eye i see this massive case standing there in the corner. The coffin thing. Must be someone brought their horn for repair. I remember feeling sorry for that case’s owner: lugging a monstrous thing like that, everyone watching…
So, i’m standing there super excited, waiting to get my new horn and leave. And the guy comes out and hands me this gigantic coffin monstrocity, like it’s normal!
I felt like a pricked balloon, with all the excitement rushing out of me…
It really felt confusing. And it’s not even an ancient horn: barely 20 years old! They really shipped their beautiful instruments in these boxes in the 21 century???
Anyway, since i don’t have another suitable case at the moment i thought to come up with a list of positives this case surely must have.
1. Defence weapon — can be wielded by a strong enough hand. It would terrify any possible attacker.
2. Portable bar stool.
3. Portable desk — if you crouch low enough it turns into a good-size desk
4. Weight-lifting — just happens naturally from carrying it around
5. Trombone fits snugly inside and won’t fall out even if the lid unexpectedly pops open in transit (happened to me once with a saxophone i just bought and was carrying from the post office. the lid flew open; had to pay for repair more than i paid for the whole damn thing.
6. The sheer size makes it fair to race double bass or drum case carriers to bus or train.
7. It also acts as a ball & chain device, making it more difficult to get distracted and stray the course (a persistent problem of mine).
So, except for number 5, all of these are a bit of a stretch. just whimsical.
Any more suggestions to keep me from burning it?
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•
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adding new ones here:
8. You don't have to lay it flat, like a normal case, to get trombone in & out — it could be kept vertical at all times (because of #5 above)
9. It's tough! Can withstand moderate abuse, like throwing it in rage down some stairs once or twice, to blow off steam...
° ° °
So, i’m standing there super excited, waiting to get my new horn and leave. And the guy comes out and hands me this gigantic coffin monstrocity, like it’s normal!
I felt like a pricked balloon, with all the excitement rushing out of me…
It really felt confusing. And it’s not even an ancient horn: barely 20 years old! They really shipped their beautiful instruments in these boxes in the 21 century???
Anyway, since i don’t have another suitable case at the moment i thought to come up with a list of positives this case surely must have.
1. Defence weapon — can be wielded by a strong enough hand. It would terrify any possible attacker.
2. Portable bar stool.
3. Portable desk — if you crouch low enough it turns into a good-size desk
4. Weight-lifting — just happens naturally from carrying it around
5. Trombone fits snugly inside and won’t fall out even if the lid unexpectedly pops open in transit (happened to me once with a saxophone i just bought and was carrying from the post office. the lid flew open; had to pay for repair more than i paid for the whole damn thing.
6. The sheer size makes it fair to race double bass or drum case carriers to bus or train.
7. It also acts as a ball & chain device, making it more difficult to get distracted and stray the course (a persistent problem of mine).
So, except for number 5, all of these are a bit of a stretch. just whimsical.
Any more suggestions to keep me from burning it?
•
•
•
adding new ones here:
8. You don't have to lay it flat, like a normal case, to get trombone in & out — it could be kept vertical at all times (because of #5 above)
9. It's tough! Can withstand moderate abuse, like throwing it in rage down some stairs once or twice, to blow off steam...
° ° °